MOM thank you for being an amazing dad~

This is the only day of this year when I remember by default that I have a father. I had.

Since he left, I waited and waited that he'll come back and I'll forgive him no matter how his mistakes seem to be unforgivable. Because I love him and I desperately dreamed to have my family be complete again. But he didn't came back.

I'm well aware that if it's hard for me and my sister, it's even harder for my mom who need to raise us alone. She did all the work to provide our needs, to still be able to send us on private school, made sure that we are well taken care of despite the financial problems we had those times and so on. It's a wonder how mom turned her pains into such great power and I admire her so much for being unbelievably strong. She's our real hero. The three of us survived it all even without a supposed-to-be responsible caring father.

As much as I want to blame dear father for ruining everything, for the princessy life that was suddenly taken away from me and my sister, I know that, still, I owe thanks to father. THANKS to him that I experienced how it feels to be left with nothing -- an empty pocket, a hungry stomach and a brokenheart, to be exact, literally. Thanks that he became an instrument for me to toughen up and be prepared for this life.

Coz maybe if I didn't experienced being poor before, I would not know the true meaning of being rich. I learned how to be strong for myself too so mom won't worry. How to feel okay having only one parent during family events, especially at school. How to get used to it without a father to protect his daughters. How to still feel lucky and blessed because God gave me a mother and father in one person.

I admit, I still feel sad about everything but I'm not waiting for him anymore because the hole in my heart caused by that father has been already filled with my mother's overflowing love. She is more than enough.

Daddy's girl no more.

안녕하세요 2021~

We are blessed on our best days and forced to get through the worst times ~and probably, one of the greatest blessings is the ability to see the blessings of both. 

 

Just when I thought life would slowly return back to the new old normal, but no, should I say it only got worse that it feels like we're all on our own. 

I miss having places to go every day. I even miss the commute, the annoying traffic and the noise of the busy crowd. I miss being able to swing by the grocery store and pick out whatever I want to cook. I wish that I could go run errands without being O.A when someone nearby sneeze. It feels weird to wash all the delivered food supplies before bringing it inside the house, IKR but to be extra extra safe. ~Alcohol, Lysol and Zonrox has become our defense team. Vitamin C, Strepsils, Ginger Tea and PRAYER as our daily shield.~ 💪 With so much anxiety circulating the world right now, nothing seems to feel right. Our work, our families, our health and routines all seem so far away.

Until this happens, we'll continue to stay at our homes. Grieving, praying, hoping, thinking about peace. Peering out our windows and wondering when or if this will all be over soon. 👻

I really hope. This too shall pass.

there's nowhere to rest on the battlefield anymore

Keep repeating in order not to die

At least a little bit of hope

 Been running, running away from it day after day, come on, 

The beginning of a long journey..

To us who survived 2020, I'm glad we made it all here. Let's not run out of reasons to live and keep surviving till the end, arasso? Aja fighting!