Gloomy July

So this one is a late post.  we lost our internet connection for a few days because of the typhoon, very strong winds broke the router stand in the roof.  Glad it was fixed.

So there goes July.  Some of my family members and friends celebrated their birthdays this month.  Another year for them and a piece of cake for me...yey!  I spend most of my free time downloading Disney movies at Pirate Bay. Disney Movie Guide list I dont have a very fast connection so it takes 4-6 hours per movie download.  A long long wait.  Rainy days makes me hungry and really very sleepy. Every so often i cook anything that is edible and to satisfy my cravings as well. Why is it gloomy then? Hmm..i dont really know but i do feel it sometime, unexplainable sadness and heavy rains adds up to the gloomy mood, like the sky is crying and breaking down. Too much drama. haha.  It's just something's not quite right and cant figure it out.

Leche Flan: Cooking using whole eggs

I love Leche Flan so much and i guess everyone else does.  My first attempt of cooking lecheflan is when i was 16.  Not looking in a recipe book i was really kinda experimenting. I use whole eggs that time and condensed milk then it turns out like a boiled sugary egg flan, it taste good though but didn't tasted like lecheflan (the one you can buy) I was upset so after that times I'd rather buy a slice than make a waste again.  Later back these years, i did learn the perfect recipe, using the egg yolks only. That sounds new to me before and when i tried, i succeed! I'm so happy, once in a while i cook leche flan, i never bought outside anymore.

So there, yesterday i was really bored and craving for something to eat.  I decided to cook of course, lecheflan! But since my ingredients wasn't enough for the standard recipe, i experiment again hehehe. I use whole eggs for the second time.

 So here's my ingredients:

4 pcs eggs
1 can evaporated milk (you can use any brand, the one i used is the one my sister bought in Oman so cant read the label though)
1 can condensed milk
White sugar (for caramelized)
1 strainer (if necessary)
Lianeras
Steamer

Makes 3-4 lianeras



1.  Mix them in a separate bowl.  One for the evap and condensed then one for the eggs.

      Why separate mixes?  Its best to separate the eggs at first so you can mix it well and get rid of the solid parts..

2.   Mix them all together, slowly stir it.   After that,  use the strainer to remove the remaining solids from the liquid mix.

3.    Its time to caramelize.  This takes me a lot of time to do it, it looks easy but not for me. So here it goes, put white sugar in all the lianeras, maybe 3-4 spoons will be but if you want more you can add. (i use 5 spoons of it) Set your stove in a very very low fire then put the lianera over it.  Wait for a minute till the sugar began to melt start holding it side to side to make sure the sugar will melt evenly. Use a tong to hold the lianera, it is extremely hot.

4.   Set aside and let it cool for a couple of minutes.  Prepare the steamer while waiting.

5.   Pour the lecheflan mix to each lianeras and then put them carefully in the steamer, Cover it and steam for about 30 minutes.  You'll know its cooked when you put a fork in it and goes out clean.

So there, my lecheflan using whole eggs is a success! It does taste lecheflan this time.  The difference i can say between using egg yolks only from whole eggs is that egg yolks only is a lot smoother and firmer than the whole eggs but the taste is exactly the same.

Hmmm. looks yummy? It tastes really good!  You got to try it yourself. Experiment too! hehe so you can eat all you want ^_^

The Secret History of Pain

Why does that obstinate little voice in our heads torment us so? Could it be because it reminds us that we are alive, of our mortality, of our individual souls -which, after all, we are too afraid to surrender but yet make feel more miserable than any other thing?  But isn't it also pain that often makes us most aware of our self?  It is a terrible thing to learn as a child that one is a being separate from all the world, that no one and no thing hurts along with one's burned tongues and skinned knees, that one's aches and pains are all one's own.  Even more terrible, as we grow older, to learn that there is no person, no matter how beloved, can ever truly understand us.  Our own selves makes us most unhappy and that's why we're so anxious to lose them, dont you think?

Dreams and Nightmares: What do they tell you?

 Dreams, as described by Wikipedia are successions of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations that occur involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.  The content and purpose of dreams are not definitively understood, though they have been a topic of scientific speculation, as well as a subject of philosophical and religious interest, throughout recorded history. The scientific study of dreams is called Oneirology.

When i was in college, i choose dreams as a topic for my term paper. Im really curious about it because i dream a lot: good ones, weird ones and even scary ones. There are many types of dreams and sometimes it can be full of mystery.    In my opinion, dreams starts with our unconsciousness, like when we sleep our bodies rest while our spirit is traveling somewhere beyond our imaginations and sometimes there are these  times that you control your dream with your mind.  (It happens to me especially when someone is attacking me or wanted to kill me something like that of course i don't want to be caught and be dead)   Dreams can be a continuation of what you're thinking before you go to sleep, a movie you watched or maybe something very weird or very unfamiliar.  That's how i see it.   When you dream, you dialogue with aspects of yourself that normally are not with you in the daytime and you discover that you know a great deal more than you thought you did. Sometimes it can be also an answer to a question we haven't learned to ask.

 I don't actually believe with what they say that if you remember your dreams after you wake up, its nothing and wont even come true but if you don't seem to remember anything about it, it should be something to worry about.  It's crazy, right?  They also say that what you dream is always the opposite of what's truly gonna happen in real life but what if its a good dream? I guess that only applies to bad dreams because we always want the good ones.  Dreams are kinda big deal for me, it makes me think so much especially when its really really a bad one.  (like someone i know or me got into an accident, snakes everywhere, attacked by monsters.. stuffs like that)  So my solution to that is i bought a DREAM BOOK app in Itunes (it cost me $2.99) and saved it on my ipod so whenever i had disturbing dreams that i remember i can looked it up there and somehow gives me the meaning of it, even not so exactly but sometimes it matches.  Like the other other night, i dream of swimming into a pool i looked up the app (i typed "swimming") and this is what it meant:

---> Swimming of course takes place in the water. That may seem obvious but water links to the emotions and the unconscious mind so swimming will in some way link to our feelings. Swimming symbolises specifically the wish to change. It can show that this is what you want - in real life that change maybe has not been achieved. <---

So it will depend on how you see your dream or what you truly feel in the situation, it can help but of course i don't rely on it 100%, i guess it's just my first aid so i wont be nervous and distracted.  It does tell the truth sometimes.   We remember dreams or may even  forget every single detail about it but what's really good about it is we enter a world that is entirely our own.

Sweethearts

Other memories stick, no matter how much you wish they wouldn't.  They're like a song you hate but you can't get completely out of your head, and this song becomes the background noise  of your entire life, snippets of lyrics and lines of music floating up and then receding, a crazy kind of tide that never stops.

Memories..memories...memories are forever.

I know right?!

My days are full, yet i remained most of the time, unsatisfied. x_x

Life as it happens

It's funny because when you were a child, you believe you can be anything you want to be, go wherever you want to go.  There's no limit to what you can dream.  You expect the unexpected.  You believe in magic, in fairy tales and in possibilities.  And then you grow older and that innocence is shattered and somewhere along the way the reality of life gets in the way and you're hit by the realization that you can't be all you wanted to be, sometimes, you might just have to settle for a little bit less.