Precarious June

WARNING: Rants Overload

What more could ever happen when almost all the unexpected incidents are happening like an infection that continues to spread out. Sounds too dreadful eh?

"Struggling against them, not wanting them, has never helped.  In fact, it makes the pain more intense and the unfairness seem more acute." -source

I guess no one can ever get out of anything by avoiding it. I've been here for so many times and here i am again back from where i was before. If only i could be someone else then maybe that would make things a bit easier and better. Or i guess not, it's just too hard to embrace the uncertainty of every day because i know everything changes in time, and change is something i am more afraid of most especially if it's not the good one.

Struggling is pointless, waiting for the right time would be a lot better. Growing apart would be so difficult but maybe it would help to mend what has been broken in between and hopefully turn out to be even more stronger for the future ahead. I'll fight for what i believe is right, I'll stand firmly for what i really want but i know it's still not for me to decide.

So much for the pessimism thoughts, who doesn't get scared about anything anyway? Worst of the worst can happen to anyone. With an open mind, it's truly easy to understand, but accepting it is the big challenge. I do consider to weigh the good against the bad things.. Hard yeah, like the feeling of having shattered visions but still trying to look at the brighter side of life.

The rest of the days are just like ordinary days - i was just extraordinary extra-exaggerating in a superficial way. I do look forward for the coming months to at least be fair enough. I'll be patiently waiting for things to fall into place at the right time.

A life is such a strange object, at one moment translucent, at another utterly opaque, an object I make with my own hands, an object imposed on me, an object for which the world provides the raw material and then steals it from me again, pulverized by events, scattered, broken, scored yet retaining its unity; how heavy it is and how inconsistent; this contradiction breeds many misunderstandings.

                                                                                                                            Till then,

Our Filthy Heart

I find this really encouraging and a bit dreamy at the same time. I wish love never has to base everything on the bad side or even the physical condition and/or actions. 

                                                                                          I just wish, anyway.

(with edits)
“The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you’ll see their flaws.  That’s just the way it is.  This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don’t last.  You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they’re out of money or under pressure or hungry, or tired for goodness’ sake.  Love is something different.  Love is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart and indifferences.  Love is patient and kind, love is deliberate.  Love is hard.  Love is pain and sacrifice, it’s seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship.”

 We must first learn to “partner ourselves” and then we can truly partner another.

 Fulfilling love is a long journey.  It has many twists and turns.  It will surprise us and delight us.  It will confuse us.  It is a great read.  But when we find the great love within ourselves, we have a chance of finding that great love with another.  When we can embrace our own “filthy heart”, we will not fear that of the other. -source

Chances, Choices and Changes

It made me realize something that i hadn't quite thought about up until that moment.  It made me realize that no matter how often you see or talk to someone, no matter how much you know them or don't know them, you always fill up some space in their lives that can't ever be replaced the right way again

...once you leave it.

The 3 C's of life - the way i see it.  Three simple words sometimes wrapped with complications. -_- Ooh well.

Chances
The possibility that something will happen, either good or bad. We may not always see it coming until the time that it has already took place in our lives. Chances always does lead us to a better side of life  - if only we could take it right away when it knock on our door. Or it may end up like a train passed by that we weren't able to catch.

"Take every Chance you get in life, because some things happen only once."

Choices
Most of the time, we get caught in a situation where it is awfully hard to choose. When the mind disagrees with what our heart's desire.  Sometimes we suffer under a choice we never really want but we chose it because it is the only right thing we know that could fix everything. At least hoping it will. Sometimes we get a little bit selfish and just follow our hearts not minding what will happen next.  Tell you what, when you decide onto something especially those big issues of your life, then you get to choose the hard thing and it doesn't make you feel bad at all, (But of course, you will still get hurt but in a way that you know you wont regret) like a hundred of thorns taken out of your chest, it means its the rightest choice you've ever made.

There are choices we regret and we don't. The irony of it, sometimes just because we didn't regret means we did chose the right decision, sometimes it could be the other way around. The worst part could be losing something you can't get back. Most of the common advice: "Follow your heart..." but i guess it really depends in the situation. There are times that you need your mind to take over or at least your heart and mind is in balance so there's no way you could lose around yourself.

"You are free to choose but you are not free from the consequences of your Choice."

Changes
I am the kind of person whose not really not so good in dealing with changes. I mean, the word itself scares me a lot. I had that mad advance thinking of how things might turn out to be. But most of the time, i just really have no choice but to let change surround me.

Its not really a bad thing, it only turns out bad when you let the chance pass by or choose the wrong choice - that's when change occurs. Change can be so wonderful when it is like moving out to your own house, being hired or being promoted in a higher position, having new things you've always wanted and a lot more like those things that make you happy. However, change brings that somber feeling when it is about losing, leaving and letting go something or someone very precious to us. It's like losing a part of ourselves that we know can't be filled in by anyone. But as everyone says, be glad that it happened atleast it made you happy once. As far as i know there is love in holding and there is love even in letting go. It's the change that is truly painful for anyone to accept but had to.  It will take time to get out of the sadness it had caused.

"Life is about trusting your feelings, taking chances, finding happiness, learning from the past and realizing everything CHANGES."

Minute Maiden

 The span of three or four minutes is pretty significant in the scheme of things.  People lose hundreds of minutes everyday, squandering them on trivial things. But sometimes in those fragments of time, something can happen you'll remember for the rest of your life.

"Mostly, we never remember what is important, 

only what matters to us."