Due Lie Hopes

"I hope you find someone who is brave enough to enter your storm, and respects you enough to love the size of your waves.

I hope you find someone who will relish the calm you can have, and who is eager to set sail on the expanse of your mind.

I hope you find someone that can’t escape the love they have for you, because now they have you in their very blood, always reminding them that you are the only sea worth exploring."

- T.B. Laberge

The Art of Letting Go

What do broken hearts really need?

A mighty glue to stick the broken pieces together?
Someone to pick it up and fix it?

Or to simply let go of what keeps it breaking?


For the broken hearteds, they would always say,  "Move on.."
But it would be more appropriate to say, "First..learn to let go."


Many of us thought that Moving on and Letting go come together. but thinking about it, there's a line in between that shows their difference from each other.  The confounding truth is, you can never truly move on if you don't let go.


For me, I believe MOVING ON is attempting to escape misery, to try so hard to forget the memories, to instantly want to eject from your mind whatever bad things that has happened, to stay away from everything that hurts. Leaving all the pain someplace where it still exists and where it can still haunt you anytime. Digging a deep black hole and wanting to bury everything in there. It's like trying to move on with your life but in reality you're just standing still..and still on that same ground where you were left behind. The pain still lingers. Your broken pieces still scattered everywhere.


While LETTING GO is allowing your heart to feel what it wants to feel at the moment of your affliction. You let your emotions rule over. If your heart still persist to love, then let it. Let it love as much as it can. Even if it means loving in silence or in vain. It couldn't hurt any more because the fact that you are in deep pain already. Let it hurt if it is hurting so much. Feel hate but not so much hatred coz it might destroy you. Let tears flow freely if you feel like crying. Don't hold back. Breakdown if you need to. Don't force your heart to be okay and happy, when deep inside you know it's bleeding and terribly aching. Let those kind of emotions prevail. In time, you will see, the more you embrace pain, the less torturing those pains will be. You'll be surprised then that your tears had run dry, your sadness and pain slowly fading, how you can enjoy going out again without being bitter, if by any chance, going in the same places you have been with your past and how magically the weight in your chest feels so light. That's when you finally knew that you are indeed, learning the art of letting go.


You have to wholeheartedly accept the reality that no matter how much love you give and how much you hold on, some people aren't really meant to stay in your life.


To move on is to leave something behind. 
To finally let go is to unleash everything.


Yes, we all know that letting go is not a one-time process and it may be really very very hard at first. These are some ways to keep in mind that will eventually help yourself to be out of all the heartaches. Easier said than done..ugh ikr.


Don't keep anything. (keeping even the movie stub!)
Remove connections. (please is it like a wire or something?)
Stop caring.  (oh been so careless lately)
No more stalking. (ugh just making sure the person's alive and okay)
No more hang ups. (still can endure)
Not even hopes for a second chance. (that's harsh enough)
Nothing left to hold on to that will only drag your old feelings back anytime. (okay reality check)


When you had finally let go, when you let your heart savored all of those tormenting feelings, when you let the tears been all cried out, your heart will eventually heal on it's own. With or without someone to help you get fixed, the broken pieces will naturally mend and you will feel WHOLE AGAIN. With no signs of hatred, no burden, no guilt, no regrets. Not even a single memory of pain to look back. Just a memory of someone whom you used to love so much. Old silly memories that would simply just make you laugh.


Overall, it really doesn't matter how long it takes you to forget and finally let go of someone, all that matters is. in the end you have succeeded on it. And those experiences you had from which you should learn will only make you a little bit more wiser and those pains felt will only make you stronger than ever.


And if someday you are to find love again, which I'm sure you will, it will come to you in the most astonishing way with the most unexpected person at the rightest time of your life. Dont rush. Keep in mind this famous saying, "Love when you're ready, not just because you're lonely." 

Let go...Let God.


The Brokenheart's Choice

Hey June

"Don't make it bad take a sad song and make it better.."

I can't believe it's actually the end of the month again. 

Waiting Game: I have always been the person waiting and i wont really get bored if i have something to read and eat, like Pneuma, hi-c and chocolate ^_^
Pencil Madness: Stillness. Bed weather. Boredom. It's quite a long time since i handed a pencil to draw. I know I'm not really good at it but it's something i really love to do before. And i don't really know what makes me want to draw again lately but anyway i am thinking of having a new sketchpad for more of these feels.
Red Alert: I hate seeing this red warning in my computer. I deleted some files before to free some space but ugh seeing this again makes me a lil bit annoyed. Well, my fault.. I don't know i just can't remove them all.
Throwback: How i terribly miss school moments and yes..my pink guitar. -__-

Oh this Minions fever had me a lot of Mcdo Happymeal.

Anyway here's a screenshot of a text message.  I don't really reply to these kind of texts. I delete all at once but this one, just this one, was an exception. I thought of goofing around with this obviously fishing for pasaload and so i replied. And what can this person say when I asked for Minions as a freebie instead? Haha!

You know a lot @ScorpioTerms. ugh.

Again, my love for clouds, almost wanting to give a hug from a distance. Isn't it?

July, i won't expect you to surprise me or to be awesome, just be good to me..please.

May Madness

Time passes by so quickly and here I am again with another not-so-late month end post.

May has been a month of beaching, books, addictive TV series and foodies. Sadly, I haven't written so much book reviews this summer as I planned but I'll try to make some before school finally resumes. I am thinking of sharing a bit of summer getaways too, that is, if i won't be too lazy for those stuffs. Not really feeling good lately. Still stuck, my thoughts are always somewhere else or did I just realize that whenever someone would try to catch my attention. Anyway, looking forward for things to fall into their right places.

I don't know why but I'm kinda fond of doing challenges like this #100HappyDays. Well, maybe for me to see what made me happy that day sometime ago. So these are my top 3 picks - First, Snickers isn't my favorite but it did make me happy even just by looking at it. Second, I do know it's not nice to play with food but i did need to cheer myself a bit so my snack meal smiled for me. And lastly yes, books are my forever happiness. 

I never thought of applying for a postpaid line again, but hey i just did. So far this is the best deal I've seen so I guess it'll be worth it. I just hoped they also made these units in pink or red in color. That would really be wow for me.

They say, "When you can't decide, just take them all."   

Tang: "You're not gonna replace me with this new one right? please tell me I'm much cuter and cuddlier than that overly big-eyed kitty..can't you see? ..and we've been together for almost a year and that whatever kitty just came yesterday. Make sure there wont be any changes around here..or else..."

Tang kinda looked jealous so it seemed like he's doing he's very best to look really adorable. Haha! please forgive the messy background. ^_^ That fear of being replaced? Sucks.

__________________________________________

Sometimes i hope a part of life would be like "school" so whenever June month arrives, it will be automatically back to that part..well, back to you. I suppose. But that don't happen always. ikr.

 Too often, feelings come too soon, 

waiting for thoughts that come too late.

Antipolo's Maytime Festival: Procession at Via Dolorosa

Formerly known as "The White Cross," the place is now known as Via Dolorosa at Pinagmisahan St., Antipolo City. The grotto-like hill is now a very spectacular pilgrim site where regular masses and “alay-lakads” are held. On top of Pinagmisahan Hills are the enormous White Cross and the outsized image of the Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage. Life-sized images of the station-of-the-cross can be seen along the way to the top of the hill which sacredly reflect the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. -source

There are so many wonderful places in Antipolo to visit and this one is definitely one of it. The surrounding was in perfect hues of blues and greens which adds to a very peaceful sight. Birds chirping like a sweet hymn of angels singing up above the clouds. It almost felt like one step closer to heaven. Really. Because it was so high on top of the hill. You can feel the divine presence that it is absolutely the best place for contemplation and heartfelt prayers.

Also, they say that when you whisper your sincere prayers and deepest wishes to God, He will grant it. And so i whispered to Him my heart's desires and with utmost faith, I believe He will grant it..

His will, His time.

Book: Every You, Every Me by David Levithan

A picture is worth a thousand lies.

Sypnosis: In this high school-set psychological tale, a tormented teen named Evan starts to discover a series of unnerving photographs—some of which feature him. Someone is stalking him . . . messing with him . . . threatening him. Worse, ever since his best friend Ariel has been gone, he's been unable to sleep, spending night after night torturing himself for his role in her absence. And as crazy as it sounds, Evan's starting to believe it's Ariel that's behind all of this, punishing him. But the more Evan starts to unravel the mystery, the more his paranoia and insomnia amplify, and the more he starts to unravel himself. Creatively told with black-and-white photos interspersed between the text so the reader can see the photos that are so unnerving to Evan. -source

Review: I am deeply charmed with the author's way of writing. But all the strikethroughs text like this is quite too much. Though, in some way it is to show Evan's deep thoughts RANTS behind all of what is happening. Some are good, most of it are annoying. All his angst and more angst made me terribly confused. I have to admit that I'm a bit disappointed on how the story goes. 

Don't get me wrong. The book cover itself is appealing to me ( I am fond of books with the Yous and Mes in the title) and as soon as I started reading it, I could feel the tension built in every page and it keeps me very thrilled to find out what's with Evan's uncertainty about Ariel's disappearance and the mystery of the strange pictures sent to him. It was kind of creepy. There's no clue what really happened to Ariel. It got me into thinking that maybe she got killed or caught in a terrible accident or just simply got rid of everyone, including Evan and Jack. which is not. What the heck was that even in the end everything was not clear at all. Ariel was like she's the center of the story but she's never been into it.

Anyway, Evan and Ariel are bestfriends. Jack is the ex-boyfie.  Evan is madly deeply inlove with Ariel. They keep their friendship and knew each other very well. or atleast they did. The idea of their arbitrary anniversary sounded a bit cute. Teen romance. girl-doesn't-like-commitments-boy-agrees-just-not-to-lose-the-girl That kind of thing. Ohh i'm wondering if Ariel did love Evan the same way he loved her. But this isn't a love story so i'll just drop that curiosity. I love that part when there's something like "Let's always love each other and never be inlove with each other." How weird and sweet and complicated was that? I know.

Okay, I'm totally immersed with the eeriness of this book but right in the middle, the plot become flat and a bit uninteresting. So the only reason I finished reading this is because I'm still damn curious, expecting that it will unravel the hidden mystery but sadly, it didn't. I have no idea how humdrum the ending was. It started really good but ended like i was just "oh okay..the end...?" (with a smirk)

Every You, Every Me is quite outlandish. It's a psychological tale with all the illusions randomly scattered and full of vague mutterings in the entire chapters.

This book is my first encounter with David Levithan, so I guess I'll consider reading some of his other novels next time. I believe he is a great author. This just didn't go well for me.

Thoughts: How well do you know your bestfriend or someone you are inlove with? How well can you hide that you've fallen inlove with your bestfriend? She didn't know. Maybe she wouldn't care.

In every friendship, there is a possibility that the other one will fall in love or it can be called lucky enough if you two have the same feelings. But what if not? Then it will be just a one-sided love or worse you will just try your best to set aside that blossoming feelings, just not to lose him/her to save the friendship. Falling in love can be dangerous to every part of yourself. It takes away something you can never get back.

What about pictures is worth a thousand lies? Because pictures sometimes conceal the truth. Anyone can easily be deceived from what he/she sees. What's the real story, feelings aren't seen in pictures. They are discarded unless it is worth to be remembered. The only great thing about pictures is that it captures the moments and turn it into solid memories.

April Blues

This month is okay. 
Not great, not horrible.. just okay.

Looking back few years ago when i started this monthly blogging thing, my only purpose was to keep my blog updated. Little did i know that i was leaving a trail of detailed moments (or not-much-detailed-like-it's-read-between-the-lines) and that it actually amazed me when I happen to back-read some of it.

As for today and maybe always, it's not surprising at all when some things doesn't seem to fall into place. I mean, it's not that it's more than expected to happen, but i guess the level of disappointment is just quite low. So far so good, I've learned how to be thankful even with those things that hurted me the most. And even when i know i cant have it all back, i'm still gratified for the memories left with me.

Btw, as they promised three weeks after i decided to discontinue my postpaid account, I finally receive their final closure with me. It's probably the last loveletter (billing) i'm gonna have. Also, not to mention that it's the only closure that isn't heartbreaking at all. So, that's quite a happy ending and so looking forward to new beginnings out there. I'm really kinda lazy to tell more about how this month has been so just let me share some of my summer hauls.

Prettifying thingys. I love Etude House very much.

 Just some books I got on sale. And that Maybelline's SuperFresh powder is definitely good. I'm actually thinking of giving a review for it some other time.

 I took this shot from the window outside my room. 

I am really fond of clouds and sky..aren't I?

So even when some feelings aren't fading yet, my life is definitely slowly changing. I can't wish for anything more but for whatever is meant to happen, so be it, May. (please be good to me!)


Oh one last thing, please do follow @writefully.yours.maria in IG, I'll follow back! ^_^