Au revoir 2014

Looking back, 2014 has been a tough year, like it has been a roller coaster ride of a lifetime. Yet it did have intervals when i get to feel light like being up high chillaxing in a ferris wheel but no matter how hard i try to get rid of the extremities of life's complication, i just can't. Because maybe, some things definitely needs to be faced. But hey, i did manage not to puke over the whirling sensation of that so-called roller coaster ride for the last 12 months..muhaha! So, for the last day of this year, I'm glad that I made it through all the obstacles, the ups and downs that this year has given me. Oh well, i don't really mean to sound so negative about this year. Of course, aside from the bad things, a lot of wonderful surprises had came along the way. Unexpected pack of blessings that had really made me happy. The wonderful hues that i had perceived is probably the best part. It is this year that i learned a lot about life's bittersweet truth. That there are these things that we want but isn't meant for us because we surely deserve more better than what we're yearning for. Things like that..and more. My patience has also been put into a test of how long could i wait for me to finally say "I Made it!" and i just know this will all be worth it when that magical time finally arrives.

By the way, out of the blue, i just made an online diary. TheHueandMeDiary, the other side of my wanderland - a light and carefree diary to make room for my overflowing unaltered thoughts. Yay! So this is it, finally at the end of the year and I still can't find the exact words to say of how truly grateful i am for 2014. I just know it had shaped me to be the better version of me. And i'm quite so sure that my upgraded version is the perfect armor i needed to keep up in this coming 2015.

Hey, remember to leave the bad memories behind, only keep the good ones close to your heart. A hopeful 2015 stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written...

Ready, set..make it happen! 

December Challenges

December: a month of lights, snow and feasts; time to make amends and tie loose ends; finish off what you have started and hope your wishes come true. 

For me, it has been a pretty good month. Not that because things are going the way i planned, but because i'm learning to understand why some bad things had to occur. Im not saying i already found the reasons why it ever happened but maybe i'm one step closer knowing about those reasons behind..or maybe i don't really care to know anymore. Coz maybe there wont be any reason at all. Or the reason itself could be reality's wake-up-call to just focus and go back in track of life.

I just hope that God will grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things that i can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Every year, in preparation for the coming of baby Jesus, i always wanted to complete the Simbang Gabi. But it's not like i'm expecting a wish to be granted at once. (But dear God, i would be truly grateful if it will be granted soon ^_^) Okay yes, maybe i do have a certain wish, but it's not something i want to insist, it's more of something what He truly wants for me. I guess it's more okay not to interfere with God's plans for us..don't you think? And yes also, the little sacrifice of waking up earlier than i should (im such a sleep lover) to show my sincerest gratitude to Him for giving me the better things i didn't asked for and patience for the other things He might still be preparing for me. I really don't know but sometimes, when all is lost, i just have this hope in me that things will still be okay and all the waiting will be worth it in the end.

 Happily, i completed the 9 mornings. Well i almost missed the 3rd morning because i woke up around a little late but thank God i was just right in time for the 4:00 AM mass. I arrived at the church around 3:56am. So after that, instead of having two alarms, i added one more alarm to wake me up continuously. Yet the funny thing is, my favorite alarm tone "Never Gonna Leave This Bed by Maroon 5" is quite tempting for me to snooze for a few more minutes. muhaha!

 Sharing my daily reflection for the Simbang Gabi's gospel:

 Along with that, i was thinking of something to do, or to leave something memorable maybe for this year. So i challenged myself to pick out some of the bitterdays and betterdays i had. These all came from random years. Seriously, it's quite hard to track back which is which and sometimes i guess it could be too personal like it's better off hidden like a trashure. haha. Actually, there's a lot more but i chose to shorten the days anyway. So here's the wanderful recap of the 11 days of my bittering and betterness.

 Celebrating this Christmas season with the family and loved ones is the most joyous moments i ever had this month. (Not to mention the overload of gifts received yey!) Well, even when some people had already left the vicinity of my life, i wont deny it did hurt a lot but i'm happier to know that i had given them the happiness they ever wanted in their life. That's still love, with a lil bit touch of bitterness. mehehe! Getting rid of throwing hateful rants must be part of my new year's resolution..haha!

I just came across this app in facebook. Pretty surprising that haven't posted too much statuses for the last few months..hmm.

My FB Year in Status

Anyway, I hope you all had a very Happy Christmas. Let's all get ourselves ready for the New Year..Rock on 2015!

Book & Movie: The Fault in our Stars

Starring:  Shailene Woodley, Ansel Elgort, Nat Wolff

Run time:  126 min | 133 min (Extended Edition)

Release Date: June 2014

Genre: Young adult novel, Realistic fiction

Movie Info: Two teens, both who have different cancer conditions, fall in love after meeting at a cancer support group.

"One Sick Love Story.."

It took me a while to finally finish this review. I'm supposed to post this a few months ago but i guess i didn't feel like hearing my thoughts those times. It was kind of pretty sad and made me literally sick, really. All the longing for infinities and all that I've been aching for.

I had read this from the book and was quite really surprised for this movie adaptation. Yet, though i already know the "ending" (which is that Augustus Waters died) i still find the movie very heartbreaking to watch especially at those hard times. And to be truthful, i didn't watched it on it's screening date/weeks (even if so many times i was tempted to) I tried to avoid that kind of stories for the last few months. Yet just months ago, i decided to give it a try. (I finally watched it..online!) Since i know the story already, maybe it won't hurt that much. That this time, i could hold back the emotions in this tearjerker movie.

My Thoughts:

I always thought Infinity meant Forever and forever meant endless time. But upon watching this movie, i came to realize that forever doesn't always mean that it will last forever. True, it is an incorrect concept. Because i think it doesn't really matter if it's endless. What truly matters is the true and sincerest emotions shown during the time that the person is still with you. Even if it's just for a few years, a few months or a few days. I know, it is really unfair, very incorrect. And i want to strongly disagree with that but there are these things that are unchangeable and limited in time.  Even if we want to prolong the moments of togetherness, it just can't be...no matter how unacceptable that is. That fact itself is truly heartbreaking. 

In the movie, Hazel thought she would die first but it ended up, Augustus died first. Yet, the little infinity that they had is more than what forever really means. Even if they've shared it just for a number of days, what they had is something so extraordinary. They didn't mind even when they're literally sick or almost dying, all did they ever cared in the world was to show how much love they can both give to one another. I don't remember them planning for the future because they both know all they have is the present time. That hurts too but it didn't matter at all. That is one brave thing two people can do - to love unconditionally and fully accept each other the way they are and not the way they can't be. To know their limits and conquer it with true love.

Sometimes, we don't really have to look forward to forever, all we need is to make the most of everything NOW. Because tomorrow may be too late and forever will always be just a word with broken promises. (unless otherwise proven in actions) We don't also need to be remembered by everyone, those people who cared true enough for us is more than enough to accomplish a meaningful life. When our time has come, the marks of our existence will always live in their hearts and i swear, we will never ever be forgotten.

One more thing, i love the idea of attending my own funeral. Why not? It's unjust that people close to us or just people who knows us will only say what they think and feel about us when we're gone for good in this world. And that we won't be able to hear their eulogy, that's quite really unfair. Isn't it? Mehehe!

Book to Movie

No violent reactions, but well I just noticed these missing/altered parts:

• The argument of Gus' and his parents about going to Amsterdam. (because of his recurrence) And Hazel and her mother happen to overhear but they went back to the car and waited for Gus to go out instead.
• The limousine going to the airport.
• Going home, Hazel and Gus didn't have a champagne toast on the airplane.
• When Gus was in the ambulance with Hazel, he asked her to tell her a story or a poem. Hazel told something about the Red Wheelbarrow. As she added more lines about the G-tube and so on, Gus didn't mumbled "And you say you don't write poetry.." 

There are more other missing parts but i don't feel the need to include them all here. Overall, i love the simplicity of the movie, it's worth watching for over and over again.

I can pretty much relate to this TFIOS Quotes, like Hazel with AIA and me with TFIOS  (and hey Hazel's doctor name is Maria..how cool is that?!)

• I'm pretty unextraordinary. (I guess)

• I'm like a grenade. I'm a grenade at some point I'm going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties. Because I'm a grenade. I just want to stay away from people and read books. (because in some way I AM) 

• I was a teenager with no particular wake up time. (sleep lover indeed)

• I couldn't unlove Augustus Waters. And i didn't wanted to. (Where's mine anyway?)

• I kind of conned you into believing you were falling in love with a healthy person. (I did?)

• Grief does not change you, it reveals you. (You see it?)

• Sometimes I dream that I'm writing a memoir. A memoir would be just the thing to keep me in the hearts and memories of my adoring public. (This is.)

• I fear oblivion. (I don't.)

Most Favorite Heartbreaking TFIOS Quotes

•  “But I believe in true love, you know? I don’t believe that everybody gets to keep their eyes or not get sick or whatever, but everybody should have true love, and it should last at least as long as your life does.”

• "Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is a million of years away, but even if we survuve the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever."

• "I was thinking about the word handle, and all the unholdable things that get handled."

• “You realize that trying to keep your distance from me will not lessen my affection for you. All efforts to save me from you will fail.”

•  “Some people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them, I said. Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That’s what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.”

• “You say you’re not special because the world doesn't know about you, but that’s an insult to me. I know about you.”

•  ”I will not tell you our love story, because—like all real love stories—it will die with us, as it should.”

•  “I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.” 

• “That’s why I like you. Do you realize how rare it is to come across a hot girl who creates a adjectival version of the word pedophile? You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are.”

•  “You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world…but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.” 

•  “My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.”

• “It seemed like forever ago, like we've had this brief but still infinite forever. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.” 

• "There is no shortage of fault to be found amid our stars."

• "The physical evidence of disease separates you from other people."

• "The marks humans leave are too often scars."

• "Nostalgia is the side effect of dying."

• “Pain is like fabric: The stronger it is, the more it’s worth.” 

• "That's the thing about pain. it demands to be felt."

• "Forever is an incorrect concept."

• "Maybe 'okay' will be our 'always..” 

 “I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m eternally grateful.”

I dont wanna see the world without you. - Isaac

I want to be remembered. - Gus

Coz I love you.. and im gonna remember you. 
i just wish you'd be happy with that. - Hazel

____________________________________________________________

I didn't fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway.  

And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose YOU.

-thechaosofstars

Photo gifs and quotes belong to its rightful owner, no infringement intended.

                                                                                                                                  Till next!

Ballet: Magical Moments of Cinderella

*late post

This highly celebrated retelling of the quintessential rags to riches fairy tale by Ballet Philippines’ Founder and Artistic Director Emeritus, Alice Reyes, brings laughter, merriment, and romance to the holiday season. -BalletPh

Cinderella's Story 

In a far away, long ago kingdom, Cinderella is living happily with her mother and father until her mother dies. Cinderella's father remarries a cold, cruel woman who has two daughters, Drizella and Anastasia. When the father dies, Cinderella's wicked stepmother turns her into a virtual servant in her own house. Meanwhile, across town in the castle, the King determines that his son the Prince should find a suitable bride and provide him with a required number of grandchildren. So the King invites every eligible maiden in the kingdom to a fancy dress ball, where his son will be able to choose his bride. Cinderella has no suitable party dress for a ball, but her friends the mice, led by Jaques and Gus, and the birds lend a hand in making her one, a dress the evil stepsisters immediately tear apart on the evening of the ball. At this point, enter the Fairy Godmother, the pumpkin carriage, the royal ball, the stroke of midnight, the glass slipper, and the rest, as they say, is fairy tale history. -IMDb

We all know the story right? There could be some other versions and addition to it but as always, it is patterned in the original plot.


Personal Thoughts
I often believe that my life is a fairy tale itself. Just that, there's no title yet. Haha! I just know I'm an ordinary city girl who dreams of being a real princess somewhere in England..someday. (Ohh i know that's too exaggerated! Haha!) Anyway, i live with that quote: "Just because i don't have a Prince, doesn't mean I can't be Princess.." That's right eh? So anyone can feel like princessy even without the majestic gowns, dazzling tiaras, a luxurious castle or even without a handsome prince. You just have to believe you are in some other way.

Somehow, some people could relate to some of those famous fairy tales too - just like Cinderella's story, just maybe in a modern way. Yet unlike these so-called-Fairy-Tales, we don't always get to have our happy ending in the real world. The rest of the scripts of our life is unwritten and is yet to be discovered so we can't really be sure that we can be that one lucky person to find the true love's kiss and a happily ever after ending.

Fairy tales make us hope that there could be that someone, the rightest one meant only for us. That person who will love and accept us beyond physical appearance and hideous flaws. A prince for a princess and a princess for a prince. Isn't that so lovely? We all get that feeling of longing for our fairy tale dream to come true. But sometimes, there's always a hindrance like maybe the wicked stepmom/stepsisters, a deceiving encounter or rather life's unpredictable complications back in reality.

Thus, I see the glass slippers like an expectation of every person to be rightful for the other person. I mean, the invisible glass slippers will fit only to the one destined for us. And it may sometimes fit with the other wrong ones but sooner or later we will always end up having an aching and sooo tired feet (heart) because it isn't the perfect right size for us. Or maybe because we forced to fit in that glass slipper we weren't supposed to have in the first place. Sometimes we want someone because we think we should have them. We were blinded with that fantasy that it is our true love and to have him/her would just be so perfect. Think again. True love is a feeling that doesn't just pop out in the middle of nowhere just because the glass slippers fitted, that is only the beginning. In order to make it last, you still have to work for it. Know that word - hardwork and bravery? That's what true love can be.


My Review for Alice Reyes' Cinderella
How i love fairy tales! So i didn't miss this moment to finally watch Cinderella (If i'm not mistaken BalletPH had it last or last last year but i wasn't able to watch it that time) So this time was that perfect time to catch the show on stage. So what can i say about it?

The ballet show was impressively beautiful and full of glamour. From the creative stage set and costume designs to the gracefulness of every ballet dancers, it is indeed an exquisite performance. I'm so fascinated how ballet portrays a story without the use of words and that the audience understands so well. It's truly entertaining and i had lots of that magical fun all throughout the day.

And since taking photos during the play isn't allowed (Im sooo obedient mehehe) So this two pictures are borrowed only. They're all so very graceful! And i so love the part of the stepmon and stepsisters. There's a very loud applause when they bow down in the front stage, i guess everyone loves their amusing acts. I love the carriage pumpkin as well but i hope they did a bit longer exposure like flaunting it again before the magical play ends.

Photo Credits: Mom's the Word

 ALICE REYES’ CINDERELLA was performed at the Tanghalang Nicanor Abelardo (CCP Main Theater) on the following past dates and times: 

November 28 (3 pm & 8 pm), November 29 (2 pm & 6 pm), November 30 (2 pm & 6 pm), December 5 (3 pm & 8 pm), December 6 (10 am & 6 pm), and December 7 (2 pm & 6 pm). 

The artistic and creative teams of CINDERELLA are led by Alice Reyes (Choreographer and Librettist), Salvador Bernal(+) (Set & Costume Designer), Monino Duque (Lighting Designer), Barbara Tan-Tiongco (Technical Director), and Victor Ursabia and Ramon Victoria (Restagers). -BalletPh

A bit of the crowd when the Ballet Stars went down for a moment of flashing smiles and lots of groufies!

Photo Credits: WazzupPilipinas

"It's been a long time since Her Majesty lost her glass slippers 

yet dear Prince Charming haven't found HER yet.."

KINDLY HURRY! *wink

Just so Recently...I

Hello everyone! Christmas is fast approaching and i haven't got my wishlist ready yet.
What a rush! Well, im not really into it this year (But i guess making one is mandatory) and im still thinking what i really want. I mean something that i want and need at the same time and most probably it would be something so priceless. Like time. Like love and like true happiness. That's more realistic..isn't?  Anyway, before i endlessly lust with those precious wishes, here's something to share of my recent doings for the last week. I have seen this around lately in other blogs so i was just as inspired to make my own..yay!

Reading

Listening

Watching

Cooking

Traveling

Random places around

Doing

Aside from work and reading books during free times, I've been hanging out in my extension blog, EN.  My poet-in-the-making soul wanders in there..haha! Those literary compositions which i freely write whenever i just feel like it.  Nothing really personal.  Mostly honest insights in general scope or whoever could relate to it. 

I'm also taking Piano lessons at home but i'm not really that serious with it. It's quite more of just to experience it and as well as to play one good piece.. hopefully. (I'm learning All of Me and Frozen's Let it Go) It was the same like the time when i tried to learn playing the guitar. Well, the fact of owning a pink guitar is an achievement itself for me..muhaha! (After a while it's for display purposes only) Anyway, there's really a lot more things i like to do and i could just feel that a wanderful journey is about to begin this coming 2015. *crossfingers 

Insight

When God closes the door, He opens the windows and might even raise the roof. 

Believe everything will fall into place all in God's perfect time. Sometimes He may not give exactly what we prayed for, but it can be more than what we expected. From there we'll realize that if only we let Him guide us, we can never be lost in ourselves. For He alone knows the deepest wishes and anguish we keep in our hearts. He alone knows what we need, who we need and when we need it. Just learn to wait. Hold on.

Photo Credits: Books/tv series images belong to it's rightful owner. No infringement intended.

Keep Calm and Stop Assuming

In this life, it is easy to judge a person just by the appearance, behavior, some known details and the most common thing, the way everyone talks about him/her, whether true or not.  At times, we take our chance to grasp for definitions that will help distinguish a person, but most of the times we don't really mind at all. So what? When it's "what you see, what you get." Nothing more.  Just to fulfill the need to know and replace the need to communicate so it happened, we instantly believe. It is merely the idea of thinking based on what is only visible and noticeable.

How appallingly unfair could that possibly be? How about the silent cry of truth behind everything?

Eyes and Ears
Not everything we see is what it seems to be happening, it could be the other way around or none at all. Just because you've been looking at it for so long doesn't mean you can see right through it every time you do look at it. It's possibly more of your own version of thinking and seeing things. Thus, anyone can stare blindly at anything, but it takes deep concentration and fair understanding to actually see what is underneath.

Not everything we hear, even how detailed it could be means it is real enough to believe in.  Just like they say, there's a difference between knowing somebody and hearing about somebody. Just because you heard doesn't mean you know.  Especially if it's just a piece of abstract thoughts to begin with. Without even any basis to prove it's factuality. Well, sneaky assumptions can be tempting sometimes right? Just that it can be cruelly offensive especially if it went overboard.

Moreover, there are these situations that we tend to assume every thing seen or heard because we become blinded by our sudden gash of emotions and often clouded by personal reasons (might be anger, envy, jealousy and the like) we hide to ourselves. Maybe, we're too afraid to ask or just too busy to care. True, it is easier to believe anything that one has heard a thousand times than to believe a fact that no one has seen or even heard before. But if you really cared about the person, no single thing can change your perception about them.  Though, it's a common thing that some people are being complacent with what they only want to know. It turns out to be an instant judgement rather than intelligent reasoning of what it's supposed to be.

Yet sometimes, even someone make assumptions or judge us, we don't really need to explain anything to them because there isn't a better explanation for someone who judged you already even before asking. And explanations are not necessary for those who know the real you and not because Google or any other source tells it so.


Pain alters Personality
Everyone has a story, there's a reason why they're the way they are. So we really aren't suppose to judge people coz we never know what kind of battle they are fighting or what they have gone through the times of their existence. People has their own reasons why they act the way they do, that sudden changes and/or the way they deal with life and their surroundings. And those reasons which sometimes, they just want to keep to themselves.

Oftentimes, we don't really need to know every truth in the world. What we don't know won't hurt us and what we ought to know sometimes will just hurt us too much. In the end, it's all about giving every person the benefit of the doubt and fair respect as well.

"While you judge me by my outward appearance, I am silently doing the same to you, even though there's a ninety-nine percent chance that in both cases our assumptions are wrong. " 

Before you assume, learn the facts.

Before you judge, understand why.